[joke] PAPPU

TEACHER : What is the chemical formula for water?
PAPPU : "HIJKLMNO! "!!
TEACHER : What are you talking about?
PAPPU : Yesterday you said it's H to O !
------------------------
TEACHER : PAPPU, go to the map and find North America.
PAPPU : Here it is!
TEACHER : Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS : PAPPU!
------------------------
TEACHER : PAPPU, how do you spell "crocodile"?
PAPPU : "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEAC! HER : No, that's wrong
PAPPU : Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
------------------------
TEACHER : PAPPU, give me a sentence starting with "I".
PAPPU : I is...
TEACHER : No, PAPPU. Always say, "I am."
PAPPU : All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
------------------------
TEACHER : "Can anybody give an example of "COINCIDENCE?"
PAPPU : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time."
------------------------
TEACHER : "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree,
but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish
him?"
PAPPU : "Because George still had the axe in his hand?"
------------------------
PAP! PU : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
FATHER : No. Why do you ask that?
PAPPU: Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?
------------------------
TEACHER : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots !
PAPPU: Yes it's really strange. I've got another ! pair just like that at home.
------------------------
TEACHER : Now, PAPPU, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating ?
PAPPU: No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.
------------------------
TEACHER : PAPPU, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his ?
PAPPU: No, teacher, it's the same dog !
------------------------
TEACHER : What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
PAPPU: A teacher
------------------------

[witty] God answers our fears

You say: "It's impossible"
God says: All things are possible (Luke 18:27)

You say: "I'm too tired"
God says: I will give you rest (Matthew 11:28-30)

You say: "Nobody really loves me"
God says: I love you (John 3:16 & John 13:34)

You say: "I can't go on"
God says: My grace is sufficient (II Corinthians 12:9 & Psalm 91:15)

You say: "I can't figure things out"
God says: I will direct your steps (Proverbs 3:5-6)

You say: "I can't do it"
God says: You can do all things (Philippians 4:13)

You say: "I'm not able"
God says: I am able (II Corinthians 9:8)

You say: "It's not worth it"
God says: It will be worth it (Roman 8:28)

You say: "I can't forgive myself"
God says: I FORGIVE YOU (I John 1:9 & Romans 8:1)

You say: "I can't manage"
God says: I will supply all your needs (Philippians 4:19)

You say: "I'm afraid"
God says: I have not given you a spirit of fear (II Timothy 1:7)

You say: "I'm always worried and frustrated"
God says: Cast all your cares on ME (I Peter 5:7)

You say: "I don't have enough faith"
God says: I've given everyone a measure of faith (Romans 12:3)

You say: "I'm not smart enough"
God says: I give you wisdom (I Corinthians 1:30)

You say: "I feel all alone"
God says: I will never leave you or forsake you (Hebrews 13:5)

[sms] If

If you are asking if I need you,
...the answer is forever,

If you are asking if I will leave you,
...the answer is never,

If you ask what I value,
...the answer is you,

If you ask if I luv you,
...the answer is I do!

[fun] Words women use

Fine
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

Five Minutes
If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour.
Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

Nothing
This is the calm before the storm. This means "something" and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with "nothing" usually end in "fine".

Go Ahead
This is a dare, not permission, DON'T DO IT!

Loud Sigh
Although not actually a word, the loud sigh is often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing".

That's Okay
This is one of the most dangerous statements that woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

Thanks
This is the least used of all words in the female vocabulary. If a woman is thanking you, do not question it, just say you're welcome and back out of the room slowly.

[witty] 21 Lessons

ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
FOUR. When you say, "I love you," mean it.
FIVE. When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye.
SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.
EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dream. People who don't have dreams don't have much.
NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.

TEN.. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.
TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.

THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"
FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
FIFTEEN. Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.
SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson
SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and responsibility for all your actions.
EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship. NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
TWENTY-ONE. Spend some time alone.
 

[sms] Keeping a friend

Keeping a friend is as hard as difficult as loosing them, U sacrifice a lot to keep them. I may not have sacrifice enough for you, but in my heart, I'm sure keeping you...for ever.

[sms] A smile for you

If u find a smile on ur face that u can explain, dont worry, I'm thinking of u @ dat moment & smiling too.

Glo now on 0807

Glo mobile (Nigeria) has joined added the number series 0807 to its 0805 number. This was sure due to the rising mobile subscribers in the country. MTN started it all by adding the number series 0806 to their existing number 0803, followed by V-mobile (Nig) adding 0808 to their existing number 0802. This a great development signifying a rapid growth in the Nigeria telecommunication sector. No wonder the country is the highest growing teleocmmunication market. But then always remember, each number series on each network has the same network facilities,  same quality and same coverage.

--
A Nigerian site?
Find, Add, here:
www.ngbot.com, wap.ngbot.com (mobile)

[Joke] Dying Jake

Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside. He looked up and said weakly,
"I have something I must confess."
"There's no need to," his wife replied.
"No," he insisted, "I want to die in peace. "I slept with your three sisters, your best friend and your cousin!"
"I know, I know," she replied. "Now just rest and let the poison work."

[Javascript] Bookmark script

Add a Bookmark link to your webpage.

<script type="text/javascript">

var text = "Bookmark This Page!"

// Add your website URL between the quotations below

var site = "http://allnotes.blogspot.com";

// Add your site description in the quotations below

var desc = "My web notes."

var ver = navigator.appName

var num = parseInt(navigator.appVersion)

if ((ver == "Microsoft Internet Explorer")&&(num >= 4))

{

document.write('<a title="Bookmark this page" href="_javascript:window.external.AddFavorite(site,desc);"
');

document.write('onfiltered=" window.status=')

document.write("text; return true ")

document.write('"onfiltered=" window.status=')

document.write("' '; return true ")

document.write('">'+ text + '</a>')

}

else

{

text += " (Ctrl+D)"

document.write(text)

}

</script>

[HTML] Adding Yahoo meseenger status to your web page

This snippet allows you to add your Y!M online status to your/a web page.

<a href="http://edit.yahoo.com/config/send_webmesg?.target=fickledreams&.src=pg"><img
border=0 src="http://opi.yahoo.com/online?u=fickledreams&m=g&t=2"></a>

NB: change my Y!M id fickledreams to yours.

[Y!M lines] Three things

Do not be hasty in these three: Marriage, Business and Travel · Do not waste these three: Time, Money, Energy · Like these three: Kindness, Sympathy and Cordiality · Hate these three: Injustice, Pride and Unfaithfulness · Love these three: Bravery, Gentility and Affection · Leave these three: Laziness, Too much talk, Hurried Judgment · Value these three: Intelligence, Ability and Happiness · Control these three: Temper, Desire and Tongue

[HTML] Adding flash animation to a page

The following snippet allows you to add a flash animation (.swf) to a web
page.



<OBJECT classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/

shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=4,0,2,0" width="123" height="82">

<PARAM name="movie" value="filename.swf">

<PARAM name="quality" value="high">

<EMBED src="filename.swf" quality="high" menu="true" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/shockwave/

download/index.cgi?P1_Prod_Version=ShockwaveFlash"
type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="123" height="82">

</EMBED>

</OBJECT>



NB: edit the bolded terms.

Heart of a friend

To love without condition, talk without intention, to give without reason, and care without expectation ...is the heart of a true friend..

Can yuo raed thsi?

aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.